.

i'm feeling upset now.

nth seems to be right . . . wad has ever been right anyway?

i .. duno how to put tings to words..

i used to feel much better after chating wif frens.

but it dun seems to hav the same effect on me now..

in fact.. i jus feel even heavier..

thr are some things wich i dun wan to kip to myself

and i did try to put things across

but the problems stil arent solve

mayb.. i dunoe how to tell it in a beta way..

but i reali reali dunoe how to say le.

i'm on the point of giving it up to tell animore.

perhaps living with wad it is now wil be the solution.

but sometimes i jus feel that.. i shant be unhappy. i dun nid to.

hais. i m starting to be confused. many things dun appear to be what dey are.

n i belif all the probs tt u had... other ppl are feeling tt oso.

its the matter of how u handle them.. tt differ u frm others.

i dunoe why i keep typing all these ... but i'm currently chating wif a gd fren rite now.

realise we r jus as unhappy... but wif different reasons.

a perfectionista aint easy... wanting to be perfect is even more difficult.

i'm sorry if i said e wrong ting to u todae... i dun meant it to be lik that

i reali don lik to be misunderstood.. but it seems to me tt i'm owas lik tt to u ppl.

a mind of different tinkings. i conclude.

//

if this realy goes on for me.. i dunoe what it will turn lik

either i cant take it animore... or i will jus get used to it. in a manner wich i doesnt wan to.

i dunoe abt myself.

thoughts jus can't seem to be sorted out properly

only time will tell.

i guess . . .

i'm sure u will change. for the better.

these few days.. keep raining n raining n raining.. blehh

annd it jus giv the perfect mood to sleeep all day. loll. i dun wan to go schh.

haizz aniwae..went for the meeting todae. and i tink i will be so not looking forward to the june hols. not becos of aR becos we will only hav intense trg after the 2nd wk of holiday or sth... consider quite good le la. i tink i'm veryy slack this yr. got a feeling i wld hav to pay back soon...

haix. but i oso got a feeling i wun be the sec3 to shoot wif the sec4s. so..anith lo. no nid to be so hardworking this yr. haa.

hmm 2 more tings. hrd frm soh n all tt our sec3 camp wld be on 30th? waa. tt wld eat up our holidays manz. n mess up my plan. i wan braces by june... but dunoe can make it not.. June seems to be kinda busy.. n i nid to rest. lotsa rest for the first two weeks. n i can't seem to do it when thrs so mani tings going on. but whatever it is.. my hols are alreadi spoilt. noway cud i enjoy it.

And i'm sure it will add on...

jus hope it will be positive this time..

=X

somtimes... i also dunoe why i do the things i do. even when i knew i wld be upset..

call this plain stupidity.

but curiosity owas gets the better of me. wich i wld sumhow end myself up in noeing things wich i could blissfully be ignorant abt.

=S

-stares blankly-

the unpleasant memory is haunting me... yet again.

i wld sumtimes wonder ... is it my fault?

my fault tt its others business tt cross into my path.

tt lead me into the mess.

if only... nvm

i feel so much beta now tinking n typing it out.

mayb this will close ev.th

//

ytd i stumbled on writings of the nice memories i had las yr.

it was so much fun.. totally diff frm the present.

the present is so boring.

however.. i realise how different i am now.

i cudn't quite recognise it was me who write those tings.

hahaha.. sho funie.

i almost forgotten.

i reali almost forgotten. how silly i was.

lalala

but yea its in the past now.

keep on looking ahead.

u will c it one day.

=))

~ friends forever ~

There's not much going on today.

I'm really bored, it's getting late.

What happened to my Saturday?

Monday's coming, the day I hate.

Sit on the bed alone, staring at the phone.

He wasn't what I wanted, what I thought, no.

He wouldn't even open up the door.

He never made me feel like I was special.

He isn't really what I'm looking for.

This is where I start to bite my nails.

And clean my room when all else fails.

I think it's time for me to bail.

This point of view is getting stale.

He wasn't what I wanted, what I thought, no.

He wouldn't even open up the door.

He never made me feel like I was special.

He isn't really what I'm looking for.

He wasn't what I wanted, what I thought, no.

He wouldn't even open up the door.

He never made me feel like I was special.

Like I was special, cuz I was special.

Na na na na na.

(he wasn't)

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

i'm going poisoned.. wif all e drugs i'm taking.

this is the 6th day.

i learn my lesson.

shld hav start taking my medcine ever since i had my coughh.

but i dint.. cos i tot it will jus go away ( like it owas)

but no it became worse... frm coughh to sore throat to headache n fever..

frankly speaking... the one tt reali kills me is the headache..

i canot withstand tis kind of dizziness.. n at the same time i'm typing this.. i can feel it in my head now..

but nah.. i'm going to sleep. i had enuf of sleepingz.

frm wed.. afta i went home during rec i slept for a whole 6 hrs..

mum ask me to c the docc. but i don wan. i'm too lazy.

+ i don tink i can make it thr too. i faint first..

n yea.. tts why i went for sports meet ytd... dint hav mc.. n i figure out it wun be healthy if i kept staying at home..

but afta a deep slumber las nite... i feel much beta now. (save for e headache)

i dunoe wad i'm going to do this weekend..

but i jus wana break away frm all the sickness..

its nvr good to be sick.

//boo

haizz. todae huh. realli make me panic sia.

but i'm gladd everything ends well..

kinda drama lo..

was wondering why the heck my padlock went missing.

n i was tinking wich idiotic person steal it ...

but it turns out to be jovi fren... who had a kind intention.

so erm.. yea. alto i kinda worry at first..

at least i got back yea?

loll..

but i stil dunoe the whole story..

mayb she will be telling me wad exactly happen...

anoda bad ting.

our maths teacher changed.

arughh.

i much much much prefer kamlesh lorh.

the new woman.. speak so soft.. don get wad shes saying..

but one ting gd is tt i get to crap wif huihoon dey all...

for the time being

lol.

dunoe when the new grouping will be ..

hope we either retain our original place or stick wif wads now..

haha

i'm so sick todae.

i can't stop coughing n choking..

n i feel dizzy..

haizz. it mus be my lack of rest..

hope i will recover soon..

don wana be sick for so long.

dot dot dot ...

i'm feeling v.tired n weak now..
in fact.. i tink i'm kinda sick..
haiz.. but i stil hav so mani tings to do..
so tiring. so tiring.

cud i hav anoda break?
i reali nid it. .. ... ...

jus rmb i hav physics n chem test this week..
siannx.
everthing is starting to pile up now
aniwae..

never.ever. put camp at the end of the hols manz..
quite dratic.
or rather.. i dun tink its successful
i tink its total crap
i don lik to be in charge when ev.body jus do deir own things n dun listen.
tink i'm kinda having a sore throat.
having a slight fever.
i feel veri bu shu fu now.
i keep having the bu shunag feelings during e camp.
for the 1st day.. i'm generally annoyed.
for the 2nd day.. i'm tired. literally n physically
u noe during the fun shoot?
he called me during the bus when i almost drifing asleep..
tok for 5 mins.. asking me how i'm gonna organise.
fine. i jus roughly plann it .
but the moving bus jus make me feel even sick.
furthermore.. the lack of enthusiasm in the ppl jus make me wonder why shld i care.
when nobody cares at all.
wth. when we reach thr.. he shld jus do according to himself.
why call me at the first place n tell me to do this this this. that that that?
...
yea i noe i'm being very unprofessional now.
whatever.
its nice of him to thank us for our efforts
but i'm jus so glad its over.
..

arugh. shit. its thursday
i'm dead. i'm dead. i'm dead.
i hav so mani things undone..
tonite got chalet.. tmr got camp..
n i hvn pack my bag yet..

wads worse.. i haven touch a single piece of homework this week.
arrrrrrrrrrrrrrhhhhhhhhhh.
i'm so overwhelmed now.
veri.
i nida complete as much hw as i can be4 evening sets in
+ planning the details for camp tmr.
phewww.
could i do all this within 5 hrs ?


aye. this holiday is so damn short!!
n time jus seems to pass faster during hols den schdays.
)<

but i guess jen is right. i'm busy. busy playing.
but i dun tink camp is consider play la. its quite tiring wan u noe..
n if i cud.. i wld rather not .... ...
okok. lets not be a spoilspot..
in fact we... liwei eeyen jiepin me did put effort into organising it.
organising is fun...
u get to c wads behind the scene
wads going on.
but at the same time... u nid to do more
n get "harassed" by the head sms ani time..
LoL

las yr was beta.. e sec3s n 4s get to organise together

but this yr.. we re alone..

haiz.. aniwae we met up on tues to discuss the details.. n soh brought us to the staff room to call ppl up.
hahaha.
dint the noe the sec 2s sho funie one.
excuses so much.. crap sia.
loll.
speaking of tt.. one of the sec1s jus smsed me n ask me alot of tings.. -.-
anw i'm prepared.
prepared to c this mth bill..
haiz.. jus hope my parents dun nagg so much at me can le..
blehh.
its not my fault tt i used so much this mth kae..
its da camp n my numerous outings this week
hahahah.
let see.. i tink it wld be enuf to sae tt i hvn been eating dinner at home since saturday.
Lol..
n i had been practically going out every single day.
mon..went to watch hitch n had tuition
tuesday.. went for chem lesson n meeting. was damn tired le.. but in the end stil went out wif them to watch spongebob squarepants cos jovi got 2 free tickets. n yesh thr are 4 of us cos we're planning to buy 2 more n split the money up.but guess wad? when we went there the tickets are sold out!!! arughhh. so we actualli went thr for nth. but later kat they all had an idea of seling the 2 tickets to other ppl.. [we can't hav refund]
n so zhun sia.. we actualli manage to sell it to a mother n son! whahaha..
den ytd.. huihoon called me n yp to pei her n her brother to watch robots.. oso free ticket wan.. but hers is betta. got free spread buffett n goodie bag! lolx.. i brought 20 bucks out n did not spend a single cent...
oh well..mayb onli on ezlink card.. hahaha

n yep..for todae. going to the chalet.. ~ ~ ~
den fri sat camp.
n sunday.. hav to chiong hw le.. haizz. as much as i dun wan to.
aniwae.. gotta complete all the things above above within 5 hrs..
so i betta start now..
n to da two-two ppl reading..
cya later!!
=)

u noe wad. i 'm getting kinda lazy updating my blog..

lol..

but since shoo mani tings happen this few days.. guess i gota blogged it.

firstly.. i'm so glad the theory exam is over!! yeahh. i was so sianz on friday nite... hols starting n i stil hav to study... blehh. hope i will not do so badly. hahaa.

arh aniwae.. speaking of results.. got back our progress report on fri. hmm.. its not gd la..but not bad oso. LoL... but generally i'm okay wif the results xcept stoopid chemistry. everything was nice.. n down thr is one C6 =X n i dint did hist as well as i hope... haiz...

aniwae.. yesdae was music is it!!!

hahaa.. it was veri fun.. i finally c kat n jovi wear skirt. loll..

the performance are generally nice la.. but thrs are a couple wich i really can't stand it..

screaming right to the mike doesnt owas sounds nice.. ya noe.

n thr was a band (Afta the break) who perform quite a no. of songs.. which reali make me thot i 'm going deaf..

but apart frm tt... the performances r great. esp the guests ones. dey rockk!

and yea. this yr's end later... abt 9:30pm.. n thr was a buffett going on afta tt. lol.. jovi hav to tend to the bartender..

but apart for the crappings n talkings we had.. the nite ended quite early for me yea.. i decided to leave wif jiemin as the rest didn't reali hav a specific place to go to.. + its kinda late. anw. i jus learnt frm flo tt dey jus took 229 for 1 whole round n ate at bedok ( psst: the bus captain gan ta men zou.. whaha). phew. lucky i dint go wif them.. lol ( jus kidding )

the hols hav started! rejoiced!!

yup.. n it started on the right note.. whaha

went out wif my mom n aunt todae n she treat us to sakae..lol

dint noe my mom likes jap food until todae..

but she dun eat sushi wann..

weird eh.

lolx..

it was fun todae. ytd. n it gonna be for tmr too ~ ~

=D

i'm going crazyy..

but it feels good..

afta so long..

hahs.

guess i gtg now..

its 11:12 now.

gasp!

i took so long to update..

lol..

nitezz`

arhhh. its been a week sinced i last update...
haix
so glad that last week was over...
it was damn hectic n tiring.
but the nxt few days dun seem to be too great either..=(
its the same old phrase..
So Many Things, So Little Time !!!
why why why mus sooo mani things happen these three weeks..
and all of them have to clashed with each other!
aruggh...
somtimes i reali can't stand it. things are getting too coincidnetal.
to think i used to complain life was boring...
but having a hectic schedule is No fun either...
i'm having trouble waking up every morning ... yawning at every boring lessons.
i reali haaate mornings... but no matter how early i sleep.. i stil feel tired
>.<

haiz.. i'm geting less n less commited to my cca now.. every trg was a chore adding to my weariness.. n i'm reali fed up wif mani things.. everything! somtimes i reali can't stand it.. but i'm too tired to care.. too tired to care..

** now i had trouble getting things done..

giving undivided attention is completely out of da qn..

+ my grades are falling.. especially da sciences.

heck man.. i totally dun get physics.

dun get the new chapter..

n was it me only .. but i reali feel tad i can't absorb the topic as fast

its gonna be my worse subject.. and it doesnt help tt i hate it. i jus feel that the lessons are disorganized loh... haiz.. wadever. i gonna figured it out one day.. now to chem. i'm confused. n i reali dun get the answers he wants. studying the textbook doesn't serve ani use .. memorise so much on the particles tings n in the end its all wrong. jus so becos its not as detailed as him. grr.. - - - - - - - - - -

hmm. gonna hav my theory exam on sat. lucky i gota excused for the comp on tt day.. or else thr wld be like 3 things going on the same day again. i hate thos competitions.. dey owas owas clash with wad i had on tt day. . but i guessed i gota go for the sun.. later the soh will start to complain at my numerous absence on thse comps. lol.. i tink i like skip 4 le? hahs. kinda stressed by sat.. haiz. mus study le.. i almos faint when zhong lao shi wanted us to watch the concert on friday nite.
i was like... omg!!!
but i'm glad tt she canceled it in the end...
cos she was unhappy at the class indecisive
lol.

kinda looking forward to mii... but not to the hols.
weird eh.. i oso dunoe why..
mayb its becos i wld be busy again..
can't do the things i wan =(
hope the chalet wld be fun... =) haha.. altho i dun tink i staying..
cos of the stupid camp lo.. Clash again! arhh. so now u c.
but nevetheless.. i wan the camp to be a successful wan too.
its gonna be the last time to be with the sec4s..
aww.
can't bliv time reali pass so fast.
but yea.. tts the fact.
i'm fifteen!
hahaa.
lame..
i noe i noe.. dun giv me tt face kae.
lol

finally i'm done wif blogging..
long enuf rite...
(.")



i jus wan the things to go in my way ... ... for once