haiz...

i'm feeling so heavy now. i dun wana play for the stupid class lesson. i'm so not prepared. i can't even flip the pages properly. n my fingers hurt. thr r blisters on my hand.. n sometimes the pain can be a bit too unbearable. its lik.. a tingling sensation of pain over ur palm.. Enduring pain has since been part n parcel of my life. manz.. i tink i do hav high level of tolerance to it.

somtimes ppl jus dun understand the tings i can do n the tings i can't. i guessed.. its jus not easy for them to put themselves in my shoes. n wen i get tired of explaining.. i jus let it be. i dun c the point of explaining myself again n again..

aniwae thrs 1 gd thing tho. Time is passing veri fast =) so much so tt.. all i hav to do on monday is to look forward to the weekend.. n in the blink of an eye.. the weekends are arriving. LoLx. its scary. when i'm jus trying to get used to sec3 life.. mid years coming. in a matter of 1 more wk?

haiiz.. i guess i'm jus spending my days blindly. if this goes on... i'm gonna fail my exams manz. i was totally blank during geog lesson todae. duno if i'm day dreaming.. or simply not listening. ha ha. lik wad mr chooi had said. listening n hearing are 2 diff things. i gussed so. cos even tho i was trying to 'pay attention' ... nth gets into my head. loll

hmm.

i think ... i'm realli bad at sounding ppl out ...

hmm. i hvn been updating my blog these few days... i'm either too busy to do so or too lazy.. ahha.
niwaes. cca's out. n exams r coming!! arugh..
realli hate studying now.. n feeling so disorganized. esp wif e physics n chem. n now chem got this trainee tr... haiz. y can't we stop having changes of teacher? but btw.. i tink mdm goh ish ok now... provided tt i have to do alot of self study on myself... the same goes to the sciences. grr. its the maths n science which r giving me the probs. + my new dislike for geog.
`haiz. these can't go on. i nid some movtivation for studies.. -

went to see my dentist on sat... he said if everyting's ok. den we can start doing during june le... but guess what? i jus realised tt our O lvl oral wld be in July... wth. dun tink i can put braces now.. my cuzin told me i wld hav difficulty in speaking for the first few mths. haizz... i dunoe wad to do now. i wana do it in june.. but sumhow i dun tink its possible now.
haiya.. i tink i beta not tink of holidays now. when the exams hvn even started...
tmr's gonna be half day cos of the aesthetics acheivement. but yea.. it aint gonna make ani diff to me.. hav hcl oral. >.<

i'm feeling tt everything is going downwards...

A loss that would have thrown
A hole through anybody's soul
And you were only human after all
So don't hold back the tears my dear
Release them so your eyes can clear
I know that you will rise again
But you gotta let them fall
I wish that I could snap my fingers
Erase the past but no
You cannot rewind reality
Once the tape's unrolled

If your spirit's broken and you can't bear the pain
I will help you put the pieces back
A little more each day
And if your heart is locked and you can't find the key
Lay your head upon my shoulder
I'll set you free
I'll be your security

A moment of despair
That forces you to say that life's unfair
It makes you scared of what tomorrow may bring
But don't go giving into fear
Stop hiding all alone in there
The show keeps going on and on
But you'll miss the whole damn thing
I wish I had a crystal ball to see what the future holds
But we don't know how the story ends till it's all been told

On any clock upon the wall
The time is always now
So baby kiss the past goodbye
Don't let the future blow your mind
Just sit back and chill
Take things as they come
You can't be afraid
To live for today
I will be with you each step of the way

[ security - joss stone ]

its amazing how fast a week passes..
n b4 we knew..exams r coming.. groans...
haiz. the reason i hvn been updating 'cos everyday is so busy n tiring..
now i reaaly wish tt hols wld come soon... exlcude e camp. i dunoe y but i'm jus sort of not looking forward to it... but june don seems so fun too.. arrrh. but all the tings i might be doing aren't confirm yet. so yea i can't sae anith much..
1 thing tt i'm glad this week tt we finally completed the nAfA... ! lol.. altho my legs now are still aching. i'm quite happy for the run.. cos firstly this year seems more qing song.. i still rmb how xin ku it is for me last yr.. n yup i improve. =)
n for ytd... me kat flo jov jewe finally went out. i feel tt its been so long we went out manz. all thanks to schwork.. blehz. aniwae... we took 14 to orchard. haha. ehh.. the journey not v.long la.. take mrt oso ard the same. den shortly afta we reached it rain... den no choice lo. we hav to walk/run/jog in the rain. damn funi..
haiya den when i reached home i was veri tired le... dint practice much on my pieces. den todae my piano teacher told me she expect me to play 1 of the exam pieces for her class lesson nxt month. n it was lik.. within 2 weeks? ` haiz. duno how im going to squeeeze time in.
i noe i hvn been doing some things which i'm supposed to.. but most of the time its either i'm too tired.. or thrs jus simply more things wich are more important at hand.. lik schwork..
i'm pirioritise things wich take up most of my time... n so yea. its sch >.<
As for todae.. i was kinda tired after my lesson in the morning. wanted to do some hw but in the end i ended up sleeping n be4 i knew.. its time for me to report to sch. nida go Cdans todae for comp.. but it was kinda getting late so i keep rushing. in between i saw ryan too lol... luckily cher picked me up at the bus stop... no nid to waste time to go to sch.. so we reached thr on time la.
i was kinda scared i make mistakes todae cos i v.v.v.long nvr shoot for these comps le.. lol. but wif da help of full suit... not tt bad lo. den while on our way home... i learnt tt shaoxuan fractured his arm. wah i can imagine how angri soh wld be. cos he hurt himself while playing soccer n another sec2 injured himself in the same way last yr.. so the no. of shooters alreadi quite limited le.. + some who don practice well.. we left lik erm.. 3? 4? i oso not sure... but i knew the situation isn't very well.. den tuesday got meeting.. donoe wad soh wld say..



hmm. things hvn been very well for me.
//
hais.












`i owas don look forward to sundays` ...

hmm. time flies??
i dun really tink so la.. but looking back it does past fast enough. lol

aniwae.. todae was kinda sucky. i'm pissed off n irritated. too many things. but no one in particular. i hate it when i hav this kind of feelings.. but it jus come. i don find joy in being negative. definitely not a sadist if i hav to say this.
i'm jus plain unhappy. but i noe nth can be done. its jus human nature. n i dun blame anibody.
honestly.. if things do get a turn in change. i wld be darn happy.
but nvm abt it now..
one of the things tt i dreaded todae was trg. i am damn tired... esp afta pe. but nonethelss i knew i hav to go. conscience forbade me to do it. ha ha. cos i hav to pon tmr... got appointment. haiz. its gonna be long journey.. niwaes. i did 50 shots todae. not bad huh? LOL. considering tt i owas shoot less.

haiz.. wo zhen de bu xing le..
- shakes head-
i can feel wads going to happen.


loll.
hmm. forget it. decides not to type animore.
guess i will continue nxt time..

so long..












: freedom is what i used to yearn. but now i realised. too much of it isnt a good thing after all :

hahahaa. jus read cheries testimonial. its shooo farniie!

haiz.. i really miss her. hope we wld really meet up someday.. tgt wif kat.. we are total crappers n u cud really luff ur head off. rmb those days? dey are refreshed in my mind now..
i miss all the laughters i had wif all my frens..
not tt i had none now.. infact its gr8 to be wif jovi n jiemin..
but it jus seems different.
hmm...
anw. regarding the last post. i alreadi blurted them out to trusted fwenn. =)
n i'm okay now.. i guess i will jus try to ignore when it happens again.

todae maths test ar.. really sucks sia. i bet i wld fail... it will be a miracle if i pass. ` haizz. jus when i tot i will actually start to luv maths... thrs a change in tr. big change. n i really hate maths now. damnn sian. but if i dun listen to her.. i iwll suffer. lik wad i did todae. =(


im schooldazed!
haiz.. tuesday. wednesday. thursday. friday.
time flies huh?
i sure hope it will now.
hahaa.
byee