:: This is a tribute to all who luvs long post ::

Mani tings happened this week yea. n the Holidays are finally here!! Cheers! It is a much awaited rest from this tiring-stressful year...

Din't went to sch for 2 days ...n wad's worst. tt cough still hvn went off yet. grr. School for e last few days was just plain boring..lol. we were jus playin playin playin..n its not fun..or mayb its onli me.not feelin well of cos wun tink tt its fun. yea i'm crappin..hahaa. Fri -- the israli students came to hav lesson with us. n ms lee is so funie.. lol. e lesson is actually quite lame la. but still manage to interact with them. Afta tt was the sch-cleaning. swayy sia. hav to clean the gymmm.n worst! mr ng was in-charage..ask us to clean this clean tt. grr.. like an owner barkin at his maids.. okok i'm exaggerating. but he did hold us back for 30 mins thus, delayin the class frm takin the report bk.. ArH. now i tot of it. Report bk. lol..wad can i sae. i'm kinda content with my results. i improve! lolx..but altho tt, my position still drop. Guess it jus means tt mani ppl improve..alot betta den me. hahahax..

And afta schh, thr's still e class chalet. Yep, same as wad we did last year. But compare to it.. this yr was much beta. firstly (thank god),it did not ra!n. secondly, e bbq skill of our classmate improved..alot. lolx.. but seriously la,its one of the best barbecued food i ever it. compare to my las err. camp. hahhaa. afta tt everybody was crowding in front of the small pathetic tv .. n guess wad? tt chrissypoo is finally out! woo-hoo... finally.
On sat..we went to the escape theme park for the halloween tingy at nite. hahahax..its kinda fun. n tt ride was not as scarie as i thot..

Back to sat, siann sia.Still hav ta help out for the Open-house tingy cos... seniors nt enough? nvm. tt isn't the main objective..cos in fact. i din't really help out. hahaha..kk i noe i v.bad la, but den thr's one vehh Big Decision tt i hav to make tt day. sighh. yesh. me,jovi,jiemin n kat were tinkin of changin our sub comb. But i guess kat din't realli discuss tt much ba.. coz da jie da had managed successfully to convinced her to take PoA. and the rest of us agreed unaimously too as we noe maths was her forte. erm,yea den it was back to us. we, had been tinking from 11-4pm,whether to drop bio n go for double humans not. n it was realli a tough one.. mani tings had been discussed. but finally we did make a choice. we had to. n someway or another, we managed to convinced ourselves to choose double humans instead. however, i must say.we were reali doubtful of either decisions. there's still this tinge of unsure feelin tt overwhelmed us. i dunoe if i'm gonna regret it, but i was relief. but i noe tt by doin this, i gave up alot. Like being in the same class as mani ppl..cos the norm was takin pure bio instaed. my class,frm wad i noe.. are all takin bio. flo n cheryl too. n ytd cheryl juz gave me a "lecture" to stop following ur friends make ya own decision.lol but if u see the whole picture, i actually did tt. our conversation ytd could be labelled as "friendly discussion" but i tot it seems more like a "debation" to me. hahaha. she was,if i'm not wrong,tryin to tell me tt pure bio is beta den double humans n wich wan was easier to score bla bla while i,was tryin v.hard to explain the reasons of why we change our sub comb. but.. i still feel tt it is inexplanable. its kind of.. like..an acting on an impulse? but of cos..not totally. we wun be so crazie to play wif this kind of thing. tts insane.but..some ppl are already tinkin tt i was insane. so i guess. it doesn't make a difference...
well, i am not convinced tt i made e right choice, but i dun tink i made e wrong one either..so i guess its case closed. the onli ting i could do is to hope tt everything will go right...

I hate makin decisions. i suck at it.

ARHHHHHH
I'm sick again =( sore throat+cough
bu hao wan de... haix. been sick twice this mth. i.am.so.unhealthy.
nvm.if i stil dun get well tmr evening, go take mc le..

Other den tt incessant irritating coughing tt i'm down with, todae is kinda gd ba.hahaa.was v.engrossed in my xiao shuo.its nice altho quite boring in front lol. but yea strybks are like tt aren't dey? actualli intended to read some eng bks, but juz can't find =( anibody hav recommendations? but chi bks oso nice. muz be versatile ma. later onli noe english can't read chinese bks. hahaha. oh yea wich reminded me of holidayz hw. hmmmmm. i'm gonna do it ealie so tt can enjoy da much awaited holidays more.But come to tink of it, i dun tink anibody cud reali enjoy it until we noe our posting. siggghhh.I tink its worse den getting report bk. so mani wad ifs in my mind. aniwae, 2e2 '04 rOx. altho we get separated some times n mani other things tt happen these 2 yrs,we managed to overcome ev.th.(hmm rite?).wadever it is, i still dun wan to go to a different claz. Somethings tt we are so used to in the past, its gonna be changed soon. guess e feelin will be quite weird.siggghhh.a quote frm a bk the only thing tt never changes is that everything change. true huh? i absolutely agree with it.Be it situations or people, n the onli thing tt we can do is to accept......

Ok guess i will end here. Hope my sickness will go away soon. the coughing is sooo irritating n bu shu fu. =(

Some people want it all
But I don't want nothing at all
If it ain't you baby
If I ain't got you baby
Some people want diamond rings
Some just want everything
But everything means nothing
If I ain't got you

** nice song. **

hAiZ.... life is so boring now adayz. n now here i am slackin in front of the computer dunoe wad to do. lolx.. hmm let me sae abt ytd ba.
That big downpour reali hai si wo le. firstly, all of us were drenched lik dunoe wad+ its so cold brr. N its until later tt i realise my GCE 'O' level bk tt zls gav us todae is wet too + my bag is not waterproof so it got "stained" black. its so... STUPID manz. barely 1 day old become like duno wad le. n i hav to live with it for exactly 1 whole year. haIz.. why muz it rain ytd? n why muz zls gav us ytd? dunoe if i shld tell her nt..den mayb can change to a new one.. sighhh =(


Something happened todae wich got me tinkin of the whole year on wad i've doing. i havta admit. i've been neglecting sth n shredding a responsibility which i shld hav taken on few yrs ago. i reali regret it.....but sumhow it juz din't dawned on me when i was "younger" n tt i wasn't mature enuf to tink it deep. If onli i understood then, tings may nt be wad it is todae baz. i dunoe.. but its reali no use tinkin back yea. i onli hav e present n future to prove myself. n i reali hav to do tt nxt yr. I can't waste ani more time.. but den again i dunoe if dey cud reali c wad i've done n put their faith in me since i've been procrastinating it for so long. Am i too late? Could i reali do it well. oh great, even i am doubting myself.i was so stressed out during e 2nd half of e yr but sumhow, i noe i hav ta give it a shot. Even tho i noe i wld be even busier nxt yr. Expectations n responsibilities are reali rising high ...

i finally noe wad to do now.

[[ *Life Afta Exam* ]]

I have so mani things to sae...
yet my mind is in a blank..
i will try to recover my memory den..

TOdae, haiiiz. its the day. Yea..take back all of our results. Omg. i have onli 1 word to describe it. Disastrous.
Somehow..the results tt i took ytd are much beta den todae..Maybe e onli gd news are tt thr are no Cs in my report card. But so wad...my results sucks like hell. Bet this time my position ranking wld be among the 2nd half of the claz...n above 100. Sighhh` do hardwork really pay off? i doubt it.. Ok fine, I'm disappointed at my d&t. Coz wadever it is, i did really put in efforts in it okae. N yet the result turn out..... not so gd. Hate it manz.. for sum subj it can be understood. like my maths is totally hopeless so i dun reali care tt i got a B for it. And Eng & HCL. ironically, my english is actually beta den maths..so u can c yea. [ lol ] Hmm.. my geog is my only comfort i guess. Science is the 2nd one aLtHo i noe i cud do it beta. Sighhh mr tan kept telling us tt our claz did veh well did veh well but it onli adds to my guiltiness. Haiz if onli i focused alil bit more attention on it, i noe i cud get higher. But so wad...everything is gone..
Lit - my first section was totally idiotic. Pulled my whole marks down..lucky arhh my 2 other sections helped me or else dIe. Hcl was nOt up to standard. My first page was Disastrous. All of the sections below 5 makrs! luckie sia.. (again) my zao ju n compre pulled me up..or else...fail
My maths.. I dun wana tok abt it but thr's juz a whole lot of careless mistakes tt cost me..my grades.

Thats it. The whole reflections of my examination marks. Am i satisfied? Definitely nOt. Am i sad? Well not reallie, i wun go to the extent of regretting n scolding myself coz i noe wad's done is done. Nobody cud change tt, and besides i did reali put in efforts in it. n if i did badly den e others, its juz my poor performance during the exams. n i juz couldn't stand it when ppl who did well like 80 n above n stil not satisfied with their results. c'mon. Be Content. n i also feel irritated at ppl who kept on complainin' complainin' n complainin' abt their results.. juz get on my nerves. Anw, dey juz nid reassurance. dey wan us to tell them tt dey did well n dun worry. hAiiii. Well, i guess the onli ting tt we cud do now is to wait for our report bk.

CcA resumed ytd. for me. well~ the onli gd ting tt i can sae is tt we do not hav much trainings in the holidayz. dey letting us rest i guess...but its kinda ironical too. when i'm free, thr are nth for me to do. but when i'm bz with schwork, the trgs juz pour in like endless.. so tiring. + nxt yr ( gosh i dun wana tink abt it animore) thr wld be lesser trgs = longer trg time! wad the heck... its gonna be so exhausting. wonder if i can make it nxt yr?
And my fingers... are kiling me. But hAiz.. no matter how much i tried to explain.. i guess nobody realli noe exactly my situation. whenever i was pullin the trigger, my finger wld juz slide to the tip n tt's how it cut my flesh ytd. dAmn its so pain lor. n my finger was like gonna heal tt kind liao. n now i juz came down with another new cut. N i dun tink it will heal as fast as wad. erm. wad she tinks. n this whole stupid ting does affect me. my scores ytd was the lowest of the lowest. but nahz... dun care le. i 've alreadi come to the extent tt i wun go for another trg session if i reali feel tt my finger is not fit to shoot. Get this straight. well u mayb tinking. wad's the big deal manz. juz a cut onli n u wana skip. but no, its not me n the cca onli. I still hav ta answer to my piano teacher.n time is running out. onli left 1 more month. the whole of dec wun be seeing her..so I nid to recover myself ASAP.

-+ -- long enuff? i tink so.. guess i wld ending here... buai ppl --+-

Sian sian sianz... so this is life after exam. For these 2 days we had post xam activities..which is kinda not-so-fun. But todae i tink its beta..coz we get to go out of the sch instead of staying in.Definitely better den wasting our life away in sch. Nth to do sia..rather stay at home.Altho we're gonna be separated soonn..

Anw..i dun look 4ward to nxt yr for the least bit. So many changes are going to be done. Firstly,thr's the homeroom system which i dun tink it wld be "fun". 2ndly, i dun like the pressure tt dey are imposing on us. wad's the use of cutting down homework when the fear n stress is still present? 3rdly, its a new claz. sigh,yea the same old thing. Starting everything frm the beginning again. N on top of tt i dun make frens easily..juz hope..juz hope..i will noe alot of ppl in my claz nxt yr =)

Haiz.. taking papers back tmr! arhhhhh..i'm gonna be so dead tmr. so dead. i've no confidence in ani subjects other den lit..which i dun care anw. lol..sigh. i hope it will not be so drastic tt dey will take me by surprise. hope not. hAte this manz. if onli thr's no examz. den this will not exist too..

Sometimes i juz want ppl to understand me without ani reasons. mayb i'm juz being demanding, thinking the impossible of the impossible. but sumhow, its getting real tiring..iF u noe me well,u will realy noe wad i'm thinking..without me havin to explain so much..which i don't bother to at times. N this will lead to misunderstanding. But heck` who cares. As the saying goes, why bother to care wad others are thinking?

But yea...we can be wrong.

Shadow --- Ashlee Simpson

Shadow --- Ashlee Simpson

I was six years old
When my parents ran away
I was stuck inside a broken life
I couldn't wish away
She was beautiful
She had everything and more
And my escape was hiding out and running for the door

Somebody listen please
It used to be so hard being me
Living in the shadow
Of someone else's dream
Trying to find a hand to hold but every touch felt cold to me
Living in a nightmare
A never-ending sleep
But now that I am wide awake
My chains are finally free
Don't feel sorry for me

All the days collided
One less perfect than the next
I was stuck inside someone else's life and always second best
Oh, I love you now 'cause now I realize
That it's safe outside to come alive in my identity

So if you're listening
There's so much more to me you haven't seen
Living in the shadow
Of someone else's dream
Trying to find a hand to hold but every touch felt cold to me
Living in a nightmare
A never-ending sleep
But now that I am wide awake
Then I can finally be
Don't feel sorry for me

Mother, sister, father, sister, mother
Everything's cool now
Mother, sister, father, sister, mother
Everything's cool now
Oh, my life is good
I've got more than anyone should
Oh, my life is good
And the past in the past

I was living in the shadow
Of someone else's dream
Trying to find a hand to hold but every touch felt cold to me
I'm living in a new day
I'm living it for me
And now that I am wide awake
Then I can finally be
Don't feel sorry for me
Don't feel sorry, don't feel sorry for me

Living in, living in, living in the shadow
Living in, living in, living in a new day

its Over...yayy!

Hiie all...
its been 3 days since i updated..
seems quite long to me..
haha

YeAH!!! eXaMs R fInally over.. 2 wks of mental torture. *phew* eXams are no fun manz. anw..had my last paper todae -- listening. hmm..i din't noe tt chen lao shi was so naggy until todae. lolx.. keep on naggin n naggin at us. or rather...da sec3s. this is the first paper this yr tt i took n got scolded..whose fault. definitly not ours..hahax. And as usual..we had the confusions of whr ta sit. 2/1 sat back at their original places while whr we sat at the other end of the hall..n duhh we got it wrong n dey got it right. (again).

todae..went to out wif pai n yp. we went to suntect first cos yp wana redeemed her $50 voucher. Sooooo gd right. got 50 bucks worth of free bks. arrrrh i wan also.. hahaa bought ashley's bdae present at suntec too. at least..settled 1 person present. still got 1 more..haii. tink i go scavenger hunt this mth..so mani presents to find..lol.

N yah..i finally went to e doccccc...! he said..it will heal. duhh. said i hav x-Tremely sensitive skin. duhh. but hAizz..i knew the score myself too. it will take like 2-3 mths for e skin to heal..bUt for it to heal completely, that is for my fingerprints to be visible..it will take me 1 whole yr. yea. Had my terrible experience 2 yrs ago. N my skin onli grew back when i was sec1. wad's this?? alternate years?? my skin practically bled during the whole dnt paper. can't even use an eraser properly... why why why. muz i hav so mani problems in my life? i'm nvr healthy n nvr normal. i almos died when i was 3 years old. so rite..i shld be grateful tt i could live for an extra 11 yrs..

Haiz..forget abt those depressing things. shldn't even have let u all noe.. hmm anw..realised sth quite funnie too. or weird. hahaaaz. 2 days ago jen told me she dreamt of me but she forgotten wad izit abt. N todae yp told me she dreamt of me last nite..hahaa n i was driving. so funiie...n weird. i actually appear on their dreams.. haha. mayb its becoz of my nick ba..but its been a long time since i dreamt n i forgotten how izit like..da feeling. shld be nice ba..

Anw..i miss ya all too! take care everyone..

da first ting i'm gonna do afta exam is...
vist the doctor...=/
afta all the incessant naggings frm fellow frens..
i knew i beta do it as soon as possible..
haha..
not tt i dun wana ok.. i'm the one who is suffering frm all the pains..
juz can't take the time out..
but yea no more excuses animore..
i'm tired of eating the bitter white power
or more commonly knows as Panadol. =S
almos forgotten how it tastes..
until recently.

N my fingers..
i'm afraid i can't play e piano for the time being cos..
i can't even hold a pencil properly!
arghh...
this is.. terrible.
Now i know the feeling of taking for granted of tings in ur life.
its so pain..sniff sniff*
like acid biting ur skin
its gross..ok i noe.
wadever.
lost my sense of touch.
hav ta depend of my left hand.
feel so stupid.
haiix.`
i feel so down.
y can't i see the facts when its juz right infront of me?
wHy...
i juz can't remember.
so is it my fault?
yea.
i guess it does.

-+* .................*+-

i'm so tired....
but i'm stil gotta giv ya all details abt ytd..

yesterdae was ashley bdae.hehee..she finally turned 15. invited us to her hse.. at first nth to do..den we decided to watch movie. i suggested counting to the no.10 discs n guess wad? its the last samurai.. haha.. yep its a nice movie..but i tink it wld be even nicer if watched in the cinema..more comfortable.lol.
afta tt had dinner..alot of food worh *the both of u got regret nt going? ;)
the next is watching late night movie.. went to bugis to watch Wimbledon.Not bad la..but i still prefer white chicks. lol

vehh brief rite..hahaa but anw its a fun dae. ytd was also flo's bdae. Happie bdae flo!! n todae is jovita's..hahaa happie bdae too. =)
there are more bdaes to come..guessed i had alot of friends who are born in october..arhh i'm broke!!

tmr is the last maths paper... can't wait for both of the exams to be over.

i'm tired` tired` tired ...

ItS gOnna bE oVeR~~

yEa..finally this whole horrible stressful week is gonna be over! i still can't imagine how i survived..with all the muggins n memorisations ta do. its getting a toll on my health. hav been fallin sick for the past 5 days on n off. SianXx.. why do i hav to fall sick when its time to relax? feel so lousy now... tot i wld suffer a mental breakdown while muggin for geog. suddenly felt tt i couldn't get anith in my head. which is true... n now i dread the day when we had to take back our results. i wun be surprise if all were in the B range... i noe i wldn't do well for this exam. for 1 reason or another..i juz wun do well. forget it. wad's done has been done. can't change anith...

aNw..went 2 watch white-chicks todae. OmG ..its so funie tt i practically was luffing frm the start to e end. lOl.. i thot i wldn't stopped luffing. whahahaax. its definitely a show worth watching n not reali lame la. its so funie lor...lol. think it hav been decades since i enjoyed a comedy so much.

HaixX..my com hav been giving me neva-ending probs. Got a feelin tt i may nt be able to online for the nxt few days. lol. but hu noes i may be paranoid again. hahaa. but w/o com it wld be soo boring. but havin such a lousie com can't expect much la. hahahax.. i guess i gotta wait till the end of nov to get a new one. afta my cuz exam tt is. haii it wld be so longg~~~

oh ya..i 've been binging on chocolates ever since last wk when i'm muggin for exam. LoL... this mth confirm put on weight de lor..haix. Guess everyone are eating chocolates to destress themselves huh...hahahax. but i can't eat much le.... later my illness come worse. which i dun wana it to happen for nxt wk. gosh its partyy time nxt wk! can't wait for the exam to be "officially" over..hahax. aNw having 3 days of break n not muggin is gonna help. finally cud hav my sleep back.

-+* [ never had a dream come true ]*+-

de-StrEsS

Haiiix... so fast. 5 papers hav gone.Left onli lit den wkend! yeah! can't wait for exam to be gone manz..i wana lead a normal life. Not a one full of stress n anxiety.

Arghhhz.. i felt tt i wld suffer a mental breakdown ytd. Geog..i hAtE it! thr's juz so much to memorise..n sumhow my memorie hav alreadi reach its limit.tRying to cramp ev.th into one's brain is juz so tiring. stressful. argh if this goes on i tink my brain would go deaddddd. i hate exAms..eXam sUckS.grrr...

Haixx.. tmr lit. at least i tink it wld not be tt stressful as geog bahx.
all i wish now is.......tt all my exams wld be okay. i hope it wld not be so bad..haizz.got a feelin tt all my papers are gone case~~ ....


gOd bLeSs eVeRyoNe.

-*~ bReAk AwaY ~*-

Grew up in a small town,
And when the rain would fall down,
I'd just stare out my window.
Dreaming of what could be,
And if I'd end up happy,
I would pray.

Try not to reach out,
But when I tried to speak out,
Felt like no-one could hear me.
Wanted to belong here,
But something felt so wrong here.
So I'd pray,
I could break away.

I'll spread my wings and I'll learn how to fly,
I'll do what it takes till I touch the sky,
And I'll make a wish, take a chance,
Make a change, and break away.
Out of the darkness and into the sun,
But I won't forget all the ones that I love.
I'll take a risk, take a chance,
Make a change, and break away.

Wanna feel the warm breeze,
Sleep under a palm tree,
Feel the rush of the ocean,
Get onboard a fast train,
Travel on a jetplane,
Faraway, and break away.

I'll spread my wings and I'll learn how to fly,
I'll do what it takes till I touch the sky,
And I'll make a wish, take a chance,
Make a change, and break away.
Out of the darkness and into the sun,
I won't forget all the ones that I love.
I've gotta take a risk, take a chance,
Make a change, and break away.

Buildings with a 100 floors,
Swinging aroundrevolving doors,
Maybe I don't know where they'll take me.
But I gotta keep moving on moving on,
Fly away, break away.

I'll spread my wings and I'll learn how to fly,
Tho its not easy to tell you goodbye.
Gotta take a risk, take a chance,
Make a change, and break away.
Out of the darkness and into the sun,
But I won't forget the place I come from.
I've gotta take a risk, take a chance,
Make a change, and break away.

Break away, break away