ARHHHH.... the layout is gone!!
haish..but oso my fault.. i din't host the link.. so now gone lo..
been quite busy recently..so no time to search for blogskins.. mayb later ba..but for now.. thrs only words. and boxes. hahaax.
hehs. the maths test is OK ba. but i wun sae i'm confident for the marks..who noes i may fail! -gasps- arh wadeva la. wun be tinking too much of it now..
todae can be consider quite good ba.. lol. i finally dun feel stressed up.dun feel irritated n unhappi. blehhz. im getting tired of the moood swings.. stuppid sehz. teenage life wud be muchh mucch more beta w/o all these downs. n yea did i forgotten to mention tests n exams? haz..

hmm.. 1 of e key to happiness. Stop dreading! the more u dread. the more u worry n the more u stress urself up. actaully, wad's the big deal? it wun kill u.. n only when u allows urself to be bothered by it den it will affect u.. isnit? hmm..or mayb i'm wrong.. n ya incase u were tinking.. i'm actuali toking to myself. LoLx.. mus self-assure myself..

blaaa... yEa =P tmr onli nid to do 10 shots n i'm Free. hahahahaa. but dun "envy" me too early.. cos i thurs stil got trg. haiss.. both the cca n schwork is depriving me of Life n Fun n relaxation.. grr/ -- hope it wun be for the whole semester.. or else im gonna be real tired.


adee signing off ==

somehow i feel relaxed n peaceful todae...
mayb its wad my piano tr told me ba... `dun feel tt you re pityful. there are more ppl out thr who are worse den wad ure now` n oso u shld owase accept e circumstances tt ure in now. only when u accept den you wun obtracise n dread it. `
hmm..she not only teach me how to appreciate music.. i told her some of my probs too..haha but saying ish easy.. i dunoe if i reali cud do tt when everything starts pouring in at 1 go..
haish. guess i wld jus hav ta try n accept it...
----
this is an extract frm diana degarmo (emotional)

++
Sometimes I feel like crying
Laying down and dying
That's when I need you
Laughing's always easy, but sometimes I'm just scared you'll leave me
That's when I feel emotional[fade]
You say I'm just impossible
Totally unpredictable
I'm just a girl get use to it
No big deal You can't change me why would you try?
I'm no angel but I can make you smile
And that's the way it is
That's just the way I am
Sometimes i get emotional
And that's when i need you
++

`Its been a week since i update.. its not i dun wan to la.. but i'm just so busy. manz.. i hate this week. n i mean it.. its soo stressful n tiring.. haiz. but finally they are over... i'm practically suffocating las nite.
i dunoe why im so stressed up.. n these few days i'm jus in a bad mood. easily irritated... mood swings..all those tings. blehhz. hope i wld get out of this phase fast... hate this` (2nd time) stress stress stress. ARUGH.
haiz..guess i wld update on wad happen e last 7 days. hmm... las sat went to flo's church. ha..its the first time i went to a church service... n its quite a eye opener ba. its fun..n the songs are nice. their theme was Emotions. hmm.. v.meaningful indeed. but thr are some stuffs wich the pastor said which i dun quite get it tho. on the bible n the god... bla bla. no offence.. but dey are some wich i don quite agree on ba.

den on monday.. nth much happen..n time passes quite fast.. on tues jiemin dint come.. onli left me n jovita.. lol. we keep luffing n crapping for nth... afta trg went out wif ashley n kat. yea finally get out of the go-sch-go-home routine. went to watch Elektra.. its nicee. haha.. den went out to shop for a while.. den afta tt ash went to meet her bf.. n its kinda late so we went home. i suddenly realised tt shopping can actualli relieve stress! lol.. mayb onli for now ba..

i cant wait for the wkend to arrive.. time to recharge myself.. even tho thr are at least 3 tests nxt wk. haizz`
i will worry abt tt later... but for now
its time to relax . . . =D

whaha. i'm sho happy now. the weekends are here! yeaa~~~ ..
gonna go out tmr to shop for clothes le. =D
my life gotta-be back. i'm feeling so not me for the past few weeks.. haiss. guess the only thing i can do now is to adjust n accomodate..

\ thr's nth much ba todae.. jus tt i owas get veri sleepy during hist lesson. dunoe isit the pe or the sub.. haaa. hmm` i tink the hw time is quite useful.. but it depend on how much homework we hav on tt day. If got alot n tings like maths den can complete in sch is gd la.. but if like todae so boring n tt we can practically finish the hw in 1 hr..den no use keeping us for another hr rite? guess the sch reali nid to practice some flexibility... >.<>
den todae during hw time i damn hungri sia. n i keep complaining to them. `lolx. so irritating rite. imhungry imhungry imhungry. haiz. but afta tt i stil dint get to eat. went for prac. see i so guai. lolx. but my main motive was actualli to settle my duties.. but den i noe coach cfm will force us to prac de.. so no choice lor. n soh is so strict on attendency nowadays. haizz`
//
after shooting.. finally went wif kat to siglap to get my dinner. LoL. but i din't expect it to be so nice.. got chat on quite a few things ba.
heh. dunoe why this few days i keep missing the past n everything.. ` went out wif yp n pai ytd to get the presents.. n i reali feel tt its been quite long since we go out. n i owas feel differently when i'm wif diff ppl n i kinda miss the feeling when i'm wif them. n of cos jen. hahaa..during the bus journey she's so Irritating. lol.. jk la. but she's still the same.. owas see me the first ting to do ish to hit my shoulder.. hit n hit n hit shoo pain sia` but nevetheless i'm stil glad to see her n everybody being together. its like so rare.. to me.
n todae.. afta chating wif kat.. i got tt kind of feeling of not wanting to go. not becos of anith.. but i jus dun wan to be alone. hmm.. tt kind of feeling.. whr u dun wana be alone cos ure afraid of thinking too much.. n in the end upseting myself. haa.. i dunoe why i felt tt jus now..
the sunset was beautiful! lolx.. or rather i hvn been feeling sho relax for quite a while. everyday was jus rushing here n thr.. n getting tired.

but i feel happy todae.. harrx. for jus simple reasons.
perhaps geting to relax n chill out are the best things for me now..


guess i gota end here ~ take care ))*



>> i dont wana be confused animore. but how can i when its not controlled in my hands? sighz.

i finally finished the irritating bijis!!
ughz... its reali so damn many can... 2 chaps at least got 55 words.. n most of them are quite irreleavant ..den ask us do so much gc ... grr. wo yue zuo yue bu shuang... but still.. i finished it.
haiz.. i miss zhong lao shi. h0pe she can be back quickly. - - -

dunoe why how early i sleep... i would still yawn the whole day =S . guess i'm really over-exhausted/. todae ar.. nth much la. but ashley is really damn funie... whaha. jus now she was telling me sth abt valentines day.. den i curious ask her when izit. den she told me its sat... which i kinda dun tink so..but she insists. so i check e calendar in my hp lo... n i'm right! n the most funiest ting is tt she took out a calendar card n point to me its sat.. n guess wad? the year ish 2004! LOL... can't stop luffing afta tt...

todaee is a tiring day. As Usual. the only fun ting is cca ba (surprisingly)... sianz. i got a feeling i dun hav ani life now.
boring .... .....

heh... its a miracle ! //
its the first time in so many days i dont get real tired afta coming home frm sch... but well erm. i'm still physically tired.. (wadahellami tokingabt?)
apart frm ytd pe.. todae cca trg add on to my fatigue. eSpecially taking over the sec one orientation... dey are really a handle manz shoo noisy... dunoe y flo n jovi say dey veri quiet. =S
haiz..den i suffered many "injuries" todae... got a cut on my 2nd n fifth finger... den breaking a finger nail.. ouchhhhh n arghhhhh.... stupid stupid days.. or shld i sae horrend0us weekS? grr..
why are dere suddenly so many so-called negative stuffs popping up? n is nowhr lor... damn weird. hope this chain of weird n irritating events stop n0w. yesh n0w. or im going to xplode manz..
tot sec three life wld be Ok..but din't noe it wld be this bAd. >.<
( -- so much for everything --)

~`
anoda ting tt's in me is tt i've an xtra urge to read up daily horoscopes ... to noe wad is going to happen everyday... (but lik its true lik tt) haix` i dunoe why but i'm curious. curious to noe beforehand wad will happen on tt day... mayb its becos of all the tings tt happening ard me or wat.. i jus wan to noe. ^
but come to think of it... will i really wana go thru a day when i noe wads going to happen? esp when its boring n not-so-gd... ... nah i dunoe. but it will really be freaky if tt happens. haha.

**
currently blogging, chatting n finishing my piano theory. i dislike theory/ so tedius.. n i'm bad at remembering.. ( ok xcept bdaes). sianz... its like doing those psle or o lvl books..whr u hav to finished all the different year de paper...
but tmr will going to be sho busy. hahas.
i'm being nostalgic now... i miss alot of things n people. i finally realised how comfortable 2/2 is. i miss my friends. i miss all the normal routine tt i went thru las yr. n i miss sec2 life. its heaven compare to sec3. i miss alot of tings.... altho i said in my prev.prev.prev. posts tt 2oo4 is nt good for me. but i still miss the good things. aRrR. ` n i certainly regret some things. ( n0n0 its not wad u r tinking. how do i noe? cos i jus noe.) its not wad u are tinking. but i do hav slight regrets on some tings.
but i dun see wad a new year means when things dont start anew.. or rather ur memories not being afresh..
+ > u still lingers to unsolved problems
+> u still ponder on ur worries
+> n all ur insecurities still present...
i 'fess up. i'm a very insecure person. + i'm a SIC. greatest fear` lose of security. lol.
the unsure-ness and having to face up to everybody n every situations can be stressful at times. and i hate to be at the losing side. its not e typical type of win or losing. jus the type of unspoken. silent. losing.
`...
my hopes n wishes are not coming true. perhaps i shld jus abandon them. maybe it will be better. at least i cud stop hoping n getting disappointed when standards of life are not met. maybe my life is destined in this way. mabye maybe mayb...
i used to not bliv in destiiny` i believe tt we are the one who create them.... but judging from how i felt.. i doubt so now. everything jus seemed to be so arranged... no matter how much u do. no matter how much u fight. u still lose.

hais. there are so mani tings tt i can't simply put them in words. and after typing so much of my feelings... i still feel quite empty.
thr's a quote which i forgotten whr i read before... but it goes lik this

you can't have a better tomorrow if you keep thinking about the past all the time


true huh? //

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -- -

aye.. only 1 n a half week hav past but i feel tt its been sooo long!
everything is jus veri draggy n not so new... ... n the past few days are so damn crappy n sucky. so many things happen but i jus can't keep track of them... \but u noe wad?
i wun giv a damn to those tt's not worth my time.
i'm starting to feel tired physically and mentally strained..
hais.. these aren't exactly what i'm hoping for a new year ...

i'm sick of all deeee moodswings...
` i cud be happy now. n feel troubled the next.
h0w d0 u be unfazed by wad's happening to ur surroundings?
n how do u stop all the exhaustion? **
hais.. all this things.. don surface in the hols yea..
n i'm feeling l0s+

oh yea... how i wish

- - - - - - - - -------- - - - --------- ----- ------

Its been sometime since i update my blog.. but manz. life is getting hectic... n tiring.
i'm practically tired everyday... tt kind of exhaustion whr u jus lie on ur bed n within 10 secs can fall asleep ... den the weekend oso not veri recharging. ... waste the whole of fri on sec 1 orientation, den busy myself wif my un-finished piano hw tt are drving me crazy. Sat went for piano lesson early in e morning (zzz) ... only den to realise tt my forgetful sis never told me about a concert tt my tr wan ask us to watch... haiz. den came back home alreadi damn tired le... i fall asleep whilst trying to do some homework.. den sunday was just chiong-ing the hw...
I still got 2 biji not touch yet! arrrugh. its getting shoo busy tt i can't get a break everytime i reach home.. blogging is one of my way to relieve the frustration. I MISS THE HOLS. i miss my sleep...
n now i reali tink homeroom is a total crap. now want to do hw in the morning oso canot le.... haiz. den whole day carry so mani books... i really want the old days back. no changes. nothing.
Sec three... took so mani subjects.. n i dun realli like physics n chem. LoL.. the sciences. In mr chooi classroom like got sleeping spells sia.. i dunoe why everytime i go thr i will keep yawning n want to sleep.. in e end i had to spend most of my time trying to keep myself awake.. den today's jiemin de qn jus made me realise tt i realy nvr pay much attention... but btw.. he reali speak slow meh? why so many ppl say so huh... den mr Oh... ppl tink he veri interesting... ha. but i no comments la. i tink is the sub de wen ti. i don't like physics.. jus don't like. first impression. >.< den maths... ask sam = no nid to ask. but in short... mr kamlesh tests confirm damn hard de... hAiZ.

afta typing so much.. u get my reasons why i dun wan to go sch le ba... so tiring n boring... i realli can't imagine how sch will turn like for me when the hw time starts...
haiz..den cca starts le. its time to finally train tmr... but i doubt my own standard. wat makes soh tink i really can shoot well? i realli dunoe manz... n the whole exco ting is reali tedius. but its kind of soh to want us to aCe our cca. hahaa.

haiz..gota go do those irritating chinese hw le... n if i dun get tired of sch. it wld be a miracle.

hmm...how shld i put it for these three days..
eRm. the homeroom system is OK la.. but sumtimes is realli veri wu liao... 2 or 1 periods later climb up/down back to the same level..
Still getting used to it.. but i think the hcl class all the way at the end alil bit weird..
yesterday during cca lucky escape trg (haha) .. haiz. i hope my hand quickly heal. actualli i feel like telling coach but in the end i decided not to. tell oso no use. . . hmm had some "interesting" stuffs for the sec1.. lol. got ta feeling it will end quite late on fri... but we NO bbq... i'm tinking tt each year of the sec1 orientation is getting better n better... in a good way.
... i hvn been really in the best of my moods the last two days ... but it wasn't really anibody. tink is the surrounding n how it influenced me. if its negatively.. den i wld hav the "bu shuang" look on my face.. i was kinda irritated by eveything... but more of pissed off by myself i guess. at the end of the day. haiz. does that counted as a problem? cos if its was...den i hope it wld be solved quickly... but if not.. den perhaps i jus think too much. [as usual]

i guess i wld end here.. haiz. so NOT looking forward to tmr manz... that 2 periods of pe is gonna be hell..
hAix..
[ did i make a wrong choice again? ]
i hope not..
-signing off -

Hey..

Happy New Year 2005!!

Its a brand new year again.. =D new beginnings ...
HoPe it will be a fun n smooth year to all!
Ok here are my wishes ( come true k?) :

~ play hard n work hard =p
~get good results
~to finally get mine new hp ... lol
~new wallet!
~a happy n fun year =)

Cheers!!