I hope this will be my last post on air rifle. i so dun wanna wish to talk abt it ... it brings back the arugggh feeling (lol. jovitaa....). But den. i feel that i nid to blog it. to sort out my own feelings...

firstly, im really thankful to the ppl hu tagged and told me tt its okay.... ur taggie or words do make a difference. at least i feel that thr is somebody who cares or noe how i feel.

second. i noe its just something... actually its not even a BIG competition... jus an ntu shoot or nus i forgot. but i cant help but feel sad abt it.
and somehow, i feel tt this feeling stemmed from me caring too much. i cared too much. i realised that most of the probs tt i told ppl, they will just say tt im thinking/caring too mcuh.
yea, maybe its time for me to NOT care so much anymore...
But... its a difficult thing for me to do... i tink im just naturally born being like that. how do u change so easily...........

thirdly.
its just a setback. im sure everbody has it. and this is mine.
[ haiz. but why must mine invovle so many ppl?]

forth.
i cant help but feel that its my fault. i mean.... i think majority of the ppl in my shoes would blame themselves too. the nature of teamsport. haiz.

fifth.
wad coach and the mr anthony guy (iforgothissurname) said was just a nice way or summing everything up and motivating us.
But wad monster said was just an ugly version of it.... however ugly, its the most truthful.

sixth.
i really dun want the prize.
can u imagine how strong the prize can be in reminding me of ytd?
Very.
and i really really dun want it. its not an ego thing or wad ... its just. undeservingly not mine. i will just feel bad and lousy having it.
and worse of all is having a prize prsentation.
NO DOUBT he would want to have a sch presentation. Oh man. that's the worse thing.
normally when u take a prize in front of so many people, you should be proud abt it rite?
Arughhhz. and wad am i suppose to do? put up a glum face to the principal and say hey, i dun want the prize?
Ha...
Aiya. but there's still a chance tt we wun be having the presentation in school. i HOPE so. and its not becos im ashamed of myself (arugh yes i am.) but to a large extent, its becos i dun deserve sharing the honour with them. They are sooo goood.
I really hope that one day, they will venture out to national games and do us singaporean proud.

Maybe one day, we do not nid to rely on foreign talents anymore. im sure dey can do it. and im looking forward to seeing them winning sth for sg.....

Eh im serious. they are really very good.

and the last person tt i wanna c on earth now is monster.
i dun wan to see his face.

Monster and The Prize are rubbing salt on my wound.

OK. ENOUGH ABT COMPETITION. I DUN WANT TO TALK ABT AIR RIFLE ON MY BLOG ANYMORE.



-the end-